I’ve been frustrated a lot, sometimes over the most trivial things.  I don’t like to be reminded constantly about things; it just makes me more frustrated.  It’s as if I have an anger issue or something, or I can’t hold down my temper like I used to.  Or maybe I’ve been so tolerant of so many things that I can’t take it anymore.  My ability to tolerate behavior, people, among other things, is probably why I’m at my breaking point.  I don’t need to be told what’s wrong with me; I know what’s wrong with me.  Don’t ask me to do things when I’m on my way out the door, or ask about something so vague (“the books”) that I don’t know what you’re talking about.  The incident about the books occurred on my way out the door, and it turns out it was about magazines for my sister’s kids.  I already gave it to them.  Asking me if I got “the books” isn’t going to help me leave any faster.  Being vague doesn’t help; it only makes it worse.  And that’s what gets me frustrated and I snap.  It’s been bad because I’ve taken my frustrations out on other people when they don’t deserve it, but if they started it, it’s their own damn fault.  It feels like I’m angry at anything that doesn’t work (especially the computer).  Even though I could have a problem, I refuse to get help because the last time I had therapy, it didn’t work.  It didn’t make things better or worse, so I stopped going.  And even if I’m in a good mood, there is still a chance I’ll snap at someone.  Being older and not having a real job hasn’t been helping.  *sigh*  I guess that’s enough ranting for now…now I have 3 days to finish my continuing education.  Meh.


~ by twilightmelfina on July 26, 2011.

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