Too much…

Am I trying to do too much by going back to school?  It feels like I’m constantly revisiting this thought because I don’t have the means to move forward in what I want to do.  Go to pharmacy school?  That seems less and less likely as the classes I need to take simply disappear.  Or they have them at the most inconvenient times.  I just feel that with my high school reunion coming up, I want it be as though I accomplished something after high school – besides graduating college.  Something happened when I was younger and I stopped taking school seriously, and now it’s finally catching up to me.  I enjoy school, for the most part, but I’ve been told that I’m wasting my time on classes when I could be working.  I would be working if there were jobs available.  I expect a lot out of a job because I have a college degree; most of my pharmacy tech classmates did not.  And that master’s program I’ve thought about at UC Davis – is it worth the 2 years of studying insects when I’ve spent my entire life catching them?  No one really seems to understand my attempts at success.  The few things I’m good at, I rarely get to apply in anything I do.  I know I’m smart, but I somehow limit on how much I actually apply myself.  Why do I do that?  I don’t really know.  People know I can do better, and some people expect a lot out of me.  How can I live up to standards if there’s nothing for myself?  I’ve spent so much time worrying about others that I don’t really spend time on myself.  In the end, it’s a vicious cycle…

Until next time…


~ by twilightmelfina on November 30, 2010.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: