The choices we make…

Are many times avoidable.  But sometimes, when you realize that someone has made the wrong decision, it is too late to do anything about it.  And with that, comes the guilt that you did nothing to help that person.  I say this because my boyfriend’s co-worker took his life just a few days ago.  We won’t ever know what was really wrong, and no one can take the blame for his actions.  We didn’t know it was going to happen.  For someone who went through so much (he was a Marine), there was a possibly that the PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) got to him and he had nowhere else to turn.  What bothers me the most that he didn’t talk to anyone about what problems he was having, so keeping everything inside only made it worse.  The one time I was able to work with him, I doubt I was able to make a difference in his life, but at least I was able to meet him.

The loss of someone never feels good, but the best thing we can do is be there for the mourners.  At this age, we should not be losing the people most important to us, but we can never predict someone’s actions.  I’ve been to far too many funerals for people who died before their time was up.  I am afraid to go another service, especially a military one because it will be far more painful to see my boyfriend lose someone close to him.

We’ve all made choices we wish we could take back, but suicide is one choice that is permanent.  In the end, I only hope that he has found peace, and his family and friends are preparing to celebrate the life of a young Marine.

Rest in Peace.

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~ by twilightmelfina on January 30, 2008.

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