It doesn’t feel like summer vacation yet…

It’s a new month, but I don’t feel any different, except the dread of starting graduate school applications and actually having things to do besides do nothing all day.  I’ll finally be able to start painting my models, as neglected as they have been.  Even when I did have free time, I felt as though there was something else to do besides paint.  My goal is to finish painting all my models by the end of the year.  It will be nothing short of a miracle if I finish the majority of them by the end of the summer.  That reminds me, I’ll need to buy more paint eventually.  I also want to stop by Yardbirds and see if they have that special light bulb I want to use when I paint.  That means I’ll have to put aside the manga and the DVDs for awhile.  But I can’t buy paint that often; I have to watch my spending (and my eating habits).  I really thought I would be able to save, but all the money I got from the tax returns is all gone.  I can’t believe I spent it all in just a few weeks.  I know I’ll be making a lot of money during the summer, so this is when I need to start saving.

What I’ve noticed is that most people don’t read my journal, nor do they comment about what I write.  I would like to write about something interesting without other people being involved.  I did that once and it destroyed everything I worked on.  I’m not going to do that again  I try to use my writing as an outlet for my emotions when I have nowhere else to go.  Yet, at the same time, it is difficult to keep the perspective objective rather than subjective.  This is probably why I don’t write often because I can’t keep my emotions out of it.  I have to be involved with everything, which only makes it worse.

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~ by twilightmelfina on June 6, 2007.

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