Five years later…

The events of 9-11 still strike fear in the hearts of many. For me, it’s a sign of my own, meaning that I am looking for help but not finding it. The numbers didn’t start showing up until after the event of 9-11, and it makes me think about what I need help for. I always thought of myself being able to accomplish so many things, but when I try to do it, it never works out. But I feel my ability to accomplish things has been hindered by all the things that affect my life. I don’t even know why I came to San Jose as a business major; I don’t understand a single thing about business. Without any outside influence, I didn’t know what I want to do, and wasted two entire semesters on classes I’ll never need – business and chemistry. I just feel that the events of 9-11 should have woken me up to what I want to do with my life – and it didn’t.

I felt that the way I set my priorities would work, but it has only made things worse because things are always changing. However, there are certain things in my life that don’t change, such as school, my relationship, work, family, and friends. What order they go in is still to be determined, but for the longest time, school has been the most important because in order to get anywhere in life, I need an education. And yes, I’ll admit that each priority conflicts with another, but it’s about time management to make everything work. Having an education allows me to find a better job, thus enabling me to take care of myself and a future family, as well as look out for my own family. If I put everything other than school first, I would get absolutely nothing done because I would have no motivation to do the work. With school first, the other priorities become my motivation to do better regardless for who or for what.

Because of these events, we can’t take life for granted. Yet, I feel that because of my easygoing personality and attitude, people in the past have taken advantage of me. I’m not going to jump off a bridge because other people are doing it, but I’ve been more of a follower than a leader, and I feel that is where my problems begin. This is a day I choose to reflect on my life because this day is one day that will live on unforgotten.

Until next time…

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~ by twilightmelfina on September 11, 2006.

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