Trying not to hate life…

I know I don’t write this often. I just need to get this out of my system. Like I mentioned before, I have a job, but I don’t consider it a career because I don’t have many hours and haven’t been trained on the pharmacy computer. I went to school to be a pharmacy technician, not to be a clerk in a health and beauty store. It’s a job, nonetheless, but not what I spent a year in training for. All the things I’ve learned are going down the drain because I have no way to reinforce it. I’ve had no pharmacy exposure for 6 months. School during the fall semester didn’t help with the fact that I couldn’t really have a job and even time for volunteer work was scare. With whatever dignity I might have left, I’ll spend volunteering because it’s the most I can do right now to regain the experience I’ve lost. It hurts to think that people want me to value this “job” over a trip that was planned in advance. My parents planned this trip to Hawaii before I thought I would get hired at any pharmacy. I know school limits my work availability, but staying at home doing absolutely nothing is going to get me absolutely nowhere. I’m letting the owner and front store manager know a month in ADVANCE about this trip. And since I’m barely in the schedule, it means they have the manpower to cover the time I’ll be gone. It feels like I’m just a “filler” for when they don’t have anyone else to work. Sure, in order of seniority in regards to when people were hired, I’m at the very bottom, so it’s no doubt that when hours are limited, I get the short end of the stick. If I’m seen as someone who doesn’t value the job I have now, then they are wrong. I try to enjoy this job as much as possible, but if I’m not getting hours, it’s not worth my time. Besides, it’s all trial and error – too many staff members and not enough hours. You probably don’t want to get rid of anyone yet, so they’re not really in the schedule unless they are needed. And the other pharmacy I could be working at – stopped contacting me when I called to ask them about their progress for opening a second pharmacy. I later found out through my own research that they are opened and functioning just fine. I’ll have to take a chance and call them to see if they are still hiring. Either I got left behind because I stopped contacting them, or their phone calls simply aren’t going through (AT&T sure has its share of issues). I always respond to emails, so it’s not like it’s impossible to contact me.

Maybe the only person I’m hurting is myself, but there’s not point in calling this job a career if I’m not going to get any hours.

Day 17 of the new year…

As day 17 comes to an end, I think about what has happened in the last 2 weeks of the new year. For starters, the relief effort for Haiti is well underway, with many companies donating money and people to help the local people. It is truly devastating, since the country and its people are so poor, everything collapsed, leaving people with absolutely nothing. One method to help is through texting; what happens is that $10 is charged to your phone bill and the money goes toward the relief effort. I should probably do that. Every little thing helps. The Red Cross and other professional organizations are requesting pharmacists to help with the medication and doctors to help with the injured. It is going to take many years for Haiti and its people to rebuild their island. Thankfully, many companies and countries around the world have donated money and resources to help with the relief effort.

As for my life, I have a job. It’s better than not having a job at all. I’ve been looking for so long and I get the same answer for every pharmacy I’ve been to. But here’s the problem: most of the products are imported from the Philippines, and I don’t speak a word of Tagalog. All the people who come in are Filipino, and I’m stuck talking to them in English. Even my co-workers have to stop before they talk to me because I don’t speak Tagalog. I know some words, but not enough to hold a conversation. It’s disappointing, but the pharmacy itself is not really ready (we don’t have any prescriptions yet). I know I’m smart, but I haven’t had any pharmacy exposure in 6 months. I’m rusty on drug names (both trade & generic), so I have to figure out how I can volunteer at my externship site so I can get some experience.

School starts again next week, and I have to add my class because I’m on the waiting list. Too many people were signing up, but I am fortunate to have made it onto the waiting list. I was the 9th person on the waiting list, but the last time I checked, I was the 5th person. That’s a good thing. Maybe that will give me a better chance of getting in the class. The book is so expensive, so I have to figure out how I’m going to get a used copy without breaking the bank. Education has become so expensive, and yet, there aren’t enough classes to go around.

I want things to improve this year – the stock market, education, health care, among other things. We can only hope for the best.

Until next time…

Day 6 of the new year…

It’s day 6 of the new year, and I’m looking forward to the things a new year provides. Maybe a job and a new job for my boyfriend. He’s been at the same company before I met him (it’s been 6 years). I want things to be better for him, although I can’t say things have been well for me as well. Things keep changing. The school where I went for my pharmacy program has gone through many changes, including a new program director and a new instructor that no one seems to like. I haven’t gotten my diploma yet, so it makes me wonder what they’re doing. I got a piece a paper the last time I stopped by, but it doesn’t mean anything, really. I want something I can actually frame, like an actual college degree, not a piece of paper I can make myself.

I don’t have any resolutions – I don’t make them. I should go to the gym more often, but it feels like everyday I’m catching up on those lost days of sleep because I had to get to school so early in the morning just for parking. And now the school is saying that the price of a parking permit might go up. I always believed that going to a community college was supposed to save money. Not in this budget crisis. California hasn’t had any money since who knows when. There’s no money for education or health care, not even state parks. We had a chance to generate income with gay marriage, but it was shot down during the elections. Gay marriage might be wrong in the minds of some, but in a practical sense, it was a way to generate money, and for a state so liberal (we do host a Gay Pride Parade annually), I’m disappointed that this didn’t pass. I’m hoping it will get back on the ballot because it’s a method of generating money legally (think of all the marriage licenses).

It’s a new year, and we can only hope for the best.

Until next time…

It’s not over until it’s over…

Christmas has passed, but the holidays are still going. There are still sales. There are still crazy drivers on the road. Before we know it, it will be the new year already. I look forward to it because it’s a new year, and a new year means change. Hopefully.

Christmas was good; I went to my sister’s house. Somehow, the photo-taking with Santa got postponed to Christmas Eve (I would NEVER do this), so the mall was a complete zoo and the line for Santa was horrendous. My niece cried in all the photos. I didn’t realize the shopping center in San Francisco had so much stuff. I’ve been to Valley Fair in San Jose, but it’s just not the same. There are so many name brands (many that I actually don’t know) and so much food downstairs that I want to try everything. Not to mention, I found that all the Tokdoki for Hello Kitty is in San Francisco! It’d never survive in Concord because it’s so expensive. I found 2 shirts at 2 different prices: $38 and $95, none of which I could actually afford, not even with the gift card I had. Hopefully, I’ll have another chance to go back and enjoy the mall properly.

With the new year approaching fast, I keep thinking about what I would want or like for the new year. I want things to be different, to improve. I want the economy to improve. I’m the last one from my pharmacy program to be without a job, even though the career sites keep talking about how pharmacy is growing so fast. Are you sure about that? Because if you look at the real world, no pharmacy is hiring. I’m hoping the one in Seafood City hires me, even though the entire place is crawling with Filipino people and I don’t speak a word of Tagalog.

Anyway, I hope all my readers (if I actually have any) had a wonderful Christmas and a have a safe New Year!
I probably won’t write again until the new year, but best wishes and be safe.
Until next time…

It’s the holidays but…

I’m not feeling it. There’s snow (it was freak weather condition), and frost (it got really cold), but other than that, I’m just not in the holiday mood. I’ve gone out dressed in all black, if that means anything. I have an entire month to waste on doing nothing, since it’ll be the end of January before classes start again, provided that I get into the class I’m on the waitlist for.

No Christmas parties, not enough Christmas lights in the neighborhood – it doesn’t help with the economy is in the gutter too. I want to do something, but what? I stay home most of the day doing absolutely nothing because there is nothing to do. No pharmacy in the entire area is hiring. I’m sorry if I’m just starting out – aren’t we all like that after the program is done? I’m sorry if I don’t have more than a year of experience. I want to volunteer, but I still don’t get the exposure I need. I was disappointed by inpatient because there weren’t enough things to do – at all. I don’t know how they do that 5 days week. I couldn’t do it. I get bored easily, so I constantly need to do things that keep me entertained. Even now, I’m having trouble writing. That’s how bad it is when I’m not doing anything. I should be working, at this age, moved out of my parents’ house and living on my own. Everyone else seems to be doing that but me. But no, I chose a major that is absolutely useless because I can’t teach and the daycare I once volunteered at was sold by its owner. I don’t mind that, but the fact that I can’t put my knowledge to use disappoints me. I know that if I hadn’t slacked off in high school, I probably would have figured out what I wanted to do with my life, instead of sitting here in bed, ranting away about the holidays. I donated some toys/canned food, but I haven’t done anything. I’ve been so lazy, not even taking the time to go to the gym. I really should go.

I’m always saying that I’m going to update more often, but it never happens. I’m hoping to update before the year is over, but I highly doubt it. I’ve even neglected my miniatures and other games because I lack the motivation to get anything done or to learn anything new. I don’t even want to make resolutions because it’s not worth the time making a promise I can’t keep. And it’s like this every year. I want something different next year – hopefully.

Until next time…

And the holidays are here…

Right after Halloween, the holidays are officially here. Thanksgiving has passed, and now people are probably lining up for Black Friday sales. Until I actually find something worth getting, I don’t plan on shopping on Black Friday. Not to mention, the stuff I look for is hardly on sale. It’s the holidays, and I want to relax. And to eat good food (that’s the next most important thing besides relaxing).

So, I decided to skip my math class at night the day before Thanksgiving. Do I feel bad? Kind of, but not really, because it’s unfair to students to have evening classes the day before Thanksgiving. It’s okay to have day classes, but after a certain time, all classes should be canceled. People do travel, and they often want to leave early. So, I rolled my fabulous Fable die (it’s a d6), and both rolls said no. So I didn’t go. No homework turned in, no new notes, no new homework. We also have a test next week, after my microbiology lab practical. I have no time to enjoy the weekend; I’m spending it studying. I don’t mind the microbiology, since I understand most of it, but the labs were far more complex, so I actually need to review everything. So, I’m missing a week’s worth of information in math and come back to a test, but I don’t really care. I understand so little of the material that I’m planning on retaking the class anyway, with a different teacher. She’s going through the information so fast that I don’t really have the time to process it because I have so many other things to think about. I don’t even read the book, but I’ve heard that it’s easier to learn the material again by reading the book. I should probably do that.

I’m still job hunting, and it’s pathetic. I’ve been to every chain pharmacy in the area – Target, CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Costco, Safeway – my last stop is Walmart. I still have one more Target to go to, and it’s the superstore in San Ramon. I have friends who are working in pharmacies, so I’m hoping they have space left for one more person. I got some great tips from my sister, so I’m hoping the next interview I get (preferably at a pharmacy) will look better than the one I had at Target. Independent pharmacies have fallen off the face of the earth. The one I had hopes for has never gotten back to me, and when I call them, I never get the answer I want. They said they were opening a new location, but the last thing I heard was that there was still paperwork issues with the Board of Pharmacy. But at least I’m still looking. However, job hunting at a pharmacy isn’t like looking for a holiday job; it doesn’t work that way. They hire separately from the store itself, which is why I don’t have to deal with the regular employees; I can ask the pharmacist directly. I just wish a pharmacy was hiring so I could put my skills to use.

Anyway, doors open for Black Friday sales in a few hours. I should probably go to sleep if I’m going to function later in the day. Good night.

Coming up on 2 years…

It will be 2 years at the end of November that I’ve owned an Apple computer. I used to own one when I was a little kid, but my parents gave that one away. I miss my Apple IIC. That was my pride and joy, even for someone who was absolutely clueless about computer and technology in general. I took great care of that machine, and if I still had it today, it would probably be running. That’s how much I miss that machine. But you know, 20 years later, I’ve gone back to my roots and now own a Macbook. Sure, it’s 2 years old. It’s definitely NOT clean, from all the typing I’ve done, eating while typing, eating while typing my homework, etc. But it’s done everything I’ve wanted it to do. However, like any computer, regardless of manufacturer, it has it share of problems. Yes, programs have crashed on me, but not so much in comparison to using the Vista machine. I had hoped to run XP on this Mac, but I felt that the hard drive was too small (only 80GB) and was better suited to keeping it strictly an Apple machine.

I have never doubted this machine, even after 2 years of use. I want the new Macbook Pro (the backlit keyboard will be amazing in class), but I’m willing to wait a few more years because I know this machine, with my good care, will last another few years. I’ve enjoyed this machine very much, more than I ever enjoyed any Windows machine. I know that Apple’s toys can be overpriced, but if you wait, prices do drop. You just have to wait. I have so many good things to say about this machine, and how it has changed my outlook in education ever since getting it 2 years ago. It does everything. Sure, compatibility is the huge issue in Mac vs. PC, but it’s not like Windows programs can’t run on a Mac; there are just other ways to do it. It’s not the end of the world to own a Mac, but rather the beginning of an entire new world. But that’s just in my opinion.

It makes me wonder all the people in the Apple stores, if they just go in the stores to touch everything, and walk out without a single purchase. I think it’s worth it to own a Mac, and I’m proud to own one. I wouldn’t change it for anything. However, an Apple tablet would be nice, because I like the HP tablet PC a lot and it was a possible consideration as a new computer before deciding on a Mac. Nowadays, my Mac does everything for me. It may seem “outdated” in comparison to what’s out on the market today, but it does everything I need it to do – music, anime, internet, word processing, etc. It does have it’s “slow” moments, but those are rare and don’t happen much anymore with the new Snow Leopard operating system. It’s not even a new operating system; it simply upgrades Leopard with better functionality. It also saved me a bunch of space on my hard drive. It starts up and shuts down faster, and Leopard was a bit slow on that.

I think the only thing that weirds me out about the new Apple laptops is the lack of the click pad. It’s just a huge touchpad that does everything, and it may take some time for me to get used to it. Not to mention, if anyone else wants to use it, they are definitely going to get frustrated. In the end, I’m glad I switched.

Until next time…

PS. The holidays haven’t even started yet and the decorations are up the day after Halloween. Western culture is so obsessed with holiday marketing. *sigh* At least pharmacy doesn’t have to deal with it.

Not writing much…

I know I haven’t been writing much because there hasn’t been any motivation to write. School is in full swing; I’ve taken several exams (I don’t like tests but it shows how much of the material you’ve retained), and I’m already thinking about the classes I want to take next semester. I’m moving forward with pharmacy school, although I STILL don’t have a job working at a pharmacy. I still have to ask Target, and although I don’t want to, Rite Aid is my last choice. I’ve nearly given up on the independent pharmacy in Concord because I haven’t gotten anything back from them – no emails, no calls, no nothing. I’ve called them, but the last thing I was told was something about paperwork with the Board of Pharmacy. They were planning to open a new branch in Walnut Creek, but if it’s taking this long, I’d rather work in retail. Some hospitals are hiring, but when it’s listed as “on call,” it frustrates me because pharmacy shouldn’t be an “on call” job. I’m not a doctor. Doctors are on call, not pharmacy technicians. Pharmacists, maybe, but not pharmacy technicians. I just don’t know what to do anymore because the economy is so bad, and while retail stores are hiring for the holidays, pharmacies are apparently not including in the hiring process. It’s like they do everything separate from the actual store. Safeway is not hiring; I’ve already asked two different stores. I still have to go back to CVS to see if I have any luck there. They say there are job openings, but no one is hiring.

I’ve decided that UCSF is not going to be one of my choices for pharmacy school until later. That one human physiology class stands out so much by itself that I can take everything else first then worry about this class. So, at this point, I’m taking everything else I need to take (including those 2 years of chemistry, which is the only thing schools agree on) while putting UCSF on hold as I finish pre-requisites for other schools.

As for my buddies back at the technology program, many people have scored higher than me on the national exam. The only reason why they did better because they got help from people who already took and scored well. I scored the highest out of my class, but was bumped off the high point from other people who scored higher than me. But did anyone get a perfect score on any of the sections? I did. And that was my inflated ego talking.
Anyway, that’s my catch up for the times I didn’t write. I should write more often, but I’m getting lazy. Oh well
Until next time…

Going back to school…

School starts Monday. I spent the entire summer accomplishing absolutely nothing, except managing to hold onto a temporary job at night. The first 6 weeks of my summer were spent in a pharmacy, so I didn’t have much time to myself during the week. Now that it’s all over and I’m looking for a job (or trying to), it’s hard to believe the summer passed by so quickly. The weather was definitely NOT summer-like, with some cool temperatures and fog in the city (oh wait, that’s typical in SF).

I -kind of- look forward to going back to school; it’s better than sitting around at home and doing nothing (or playing hours of Maplestory until the game tells you how long you’ve been playing and suggests that you take a break). I’m hoping to add another class in addition to the two other classes I’ll be taking: microbiology and plane trigonometry. I’ve always enjoyed science, but it takes a certain kind of person to teach science, and it should always try to be a hands-on experience. I’ve had my share of teachers who just tell you the material but never apply it or provide any examples. I’ve done my research for my teachers; I wouldn’t take a class with a random teacher not knowing what he or she was like.

I’ve always liked school and I know I’m smart, but when the material is too easy and the information isn’t presented in a way that I’ll be able to retain to use later, I get lazy and don’t pay attention. I could have done better in high school if I applied myself, but I was far too lazy. I know that people learn in different ways, and teachers should learn to provide information in different ways. Telling how it is one way is going to lose a number of students, if not more.

Having been in student teaching in a massive school district, I’ve come to understand how much the K-12 education system SUCKS. There is no money to do anything at all, and students aren’t able to enjoy school like I did. History reenactments in 4th and 5th grade? I was lucky to have that, but I doubt schools even do that anymore. It’s all sponsored by parent volunteers. I know when I have a kid, I want the to enjoy school the way I did. It wasn’t even about the money – at all. Moraga wasn’t a yuppie town like Danville and Blackhawk.

Going back to school is probably the best thing right now, even with the tuition increase. It’s better than staying home accomplishing nothing.

Until next time…

The Waiting Game…

I know I didn’t update that much during my externship, mostly because I got home so late (after 11 in the evening).  It was extern in the morning until the afternoon, then work at night.  There was no time to update at all.  Not to mention, there was no internet at the pharmacy, so updating on lunch or at break was nearly impossible.  Even the 3G network was spotty so getting the news was impossible.  The IV/chemo room was the reason why there was no network in the pharmacy; apparently there is metal sheeting in the walls to prevent the chemotherapy chemicals from leaking into the actual pharmacy or outside, or something like that.  I don’t really remember.

Anyway, I worked with a great staff and really enjoyed my externship at the Department of Veterans Affairs.  However, there were some things I wish I was exposed to that weren’t available at the outpatient or inpatient pharmacy: compounding and insurance.  There was some compounding in the inpatient pharmacy, but adding a powder to some sterile water was not what I had in mind for compounding.  But I guess it works – for now.  As for IVs in the inpatient pharmacy…attaching a vial to a bag isn’t what I had in mind for making an IV, but at least you can’t make mistakes unless you attach the wrong vial to the wrong solution.  No calculations, really, unless you’re making an IV that requires needles and syringes (which were very few).  There was no insurance to worry about because it was a government facility, so it feels like I missed out on a enormous amount of what pharmacy technicians have to do in a retail setting.

I am currently in the process of volunteering for the clinic, but due to jury duty (which is a pain to deal with), I have to put off getting my second TB skin test.  I thought only one was needed, but I was told that I needed a second one; I guess they just want to make sure that I don’t actually have anything.  I’ve tested negative everytime, but it’s a government facility, so I’ll let them do what they need to do.  I’ll have to call them to arrange an appointment, while hoping that I don’t have to stay for jury duty.  I know it’s a duty as a citizen, but you don’t get paid unless you come back a second day.

For now, I’m waiting for my license and trying to do some job hunting.  I’ve been a bit lazy and trying to enjoy my summer before I have to go back to school in August.  I’ve had a temporary job since January, so I don’t know how long I’m staying at the office job.  I guess they’ll keep me until they don’t need me anymore, but it’s not like I’ll know when that will be.  With my school schedule, I’ll take one night off (I have one class at night), and probably work the rest of the time.  Technically, I can’t work until I have my license, but I guess the certification works for now.  It is a waiting game, since the Board of Pharmacy is one of the government offices that is going to be closed on certain Fridays.

As for school, I’m going pre-pharmacy, basically taking the classes required so I can apply to pharmacy school.  Books for my fall classes aren’t available until the beginning of August, but it looks like they are available as a digital copy on a website where I got my pharmacy technology textbook.  I didn’t get an actual copy of the textbook, since I was towards the end of my program, but having a digital copy made it at lot easier to take notes and find the information I needed without having to do a lot of reading.  Not to mention, I used the printing ability to basically print a PDF copy of the book, so when the book expires (which should be sometime next month), I’ll still have a copy to read. =)  It took about 2 hours and 800 pages later (the program only allows 10 page to print at a time).  It’s a great website because you pay so much less for a digital copy of the book and I don’t have to carry textbooks around anymore.

Anyway, that’s all for now.  Until next time…